How to drive your doctor nuts!
It's been a slow morning and I am rather bored. So I thought I'd post a light hearted entry.
Some tips on ways to drive your doctor nuts!
1) Never answer your doctor's questions directly. If possible don't answer any questions at all. Just say something totally unrelated.
Example :
Doc : so is your cough productive?
Patient : I've got a bit of gastric upset also
Doc : Is it related to meals?
Patient : I'm a vegetarian.
2) Do the "people say..." trick. Example :
Patient : Is there anything I should avoid eating because of my wound?
Doc : Not in particular
Patient : But people say that eating prawns and seafood is no good.
Doc : Well if you feel more comfortable to avoid it then go ahead. But there's no real medical explanation why you shouldn't take prawns and seafood.
Patient : cannot be lah doc you dunno one lah. People say you know.....
3) If the doctor is kind enough to tell you "Feel free to give me a call if you have any concerns", give him a call EVERY MORNING and tell him all your problems eg boyfriend/girlfriend concerns, pet concerns, cannot decide what to wear concerns etc. I mean he did say to feel free to call him right?
4) Take note of what time your GP clinic closes. Come to the clinic 1 minute before it closes. If clinic staff make noise, tell them "Still got one minute, not yet close mah"
5) At every visit, criticize the appearance of your doctor. Example "Doc you gained a lot of weight hor?", "Doc you look very haggard", "Doc you getting more white hairs", "Doc you starting to get more wrinkles", "Doc you look very young, are you a houseman?"
6) Be super inquisitive. Ask your doctor what medicines he is giving you and criticize his decisions. Example
Patient : So doc what medicine you giving me ar?
Doc : I'll be giving you an antihistamine for your runny nose, cough syrup for your cough and amoxicillin antibiotics
Patient : what color is the antihistamine ar?
Doc : Yellow
Patient : I don't like the yellow one leh. What about the cough syrup? I don't like the black one. And the antibiotics is it the red and black color one?
Doc : Yes
Patient : Can I have the pink color one instead?
Doc : err....
Patient : So good to give me those medicine I want or not?
Doc : well if you wish to have them.....
Patient : but I dunno leh you the doctor mah.
7) Dispute the doctor's diagnosis and insist it is something more serious.
Example :
Patient : doc I got very serious skin problem
Doc : Hmm it looks like you are having urticarial patches probably as a result of some sort of allergy....
Patient : Cannot be allergy lah. Very very itchy you know
Doc : yes urticarias are itchy
Patient : My friend say it's "grow snake". Can give me the medicine to "kill snake"?
Continue by totally dismissing the doctor's diagnosis and insist on getting what you want even if he doesn't understand you.
8) Go with someone to see the doctor but also consult him for your own problems. That way you can get free consultation or two consults for the price of one. If you can get the whole ching gang to go together and consult him. Remember to only register ONE NAME at the counter. As for medicine, tell the doctor "Can just write all the medicine under his card can?"
9) Go into the room and tell the doctor your problem. If he asks you other questions, tell him to shut up and quickly treat you.
Example :
Patient : Doc I got very bad tummy pain. Quick give me an injection!
Doc : Where is the pain?
Patient : Why you ask me? You're the doctor you tell me lah! Quick give me the bloody injection now. Very pain!
10) If you have children, Instruct your child to tear apart the doctor's room when you go in with him. Play with the stethoscope, spill all the tongue depressors on the floor, drop the sphygmomamometer and fall off the couch while trying to climb it. Then tell the doctor "Your clinic room so dangerous one, see can injure my son!"
posted by Dr Oz bloke @ 6:42 PM
17 Comments:
OZ,
You're the man!!
Kool post.
Humorous and got me laughing until as usual I nearly fell off my chair and Downer is looking at me with shock.
Not like some stift upper lip type doc. Write serious bullshit all the time. Read also will doze off to sleep.
Of all the instances you cited, I must confess I am guilty of each and every one of them.
Hee Hee.
Gimme some more aggravation tactics to make the doctor (not my regular GP ok) get arrhythmia so that I can apply mouth to mouth CPR if the doc is a nice and sexy female one.
Kool.
Uncle Oz, so early venting your 'frustrations'? Heh, I think Drs should drink a lot of liang teh to cool down the 'heat'.
;p
Wan an all.
A doc's life is a dog's life.
I will veto anyone of my grandchildren becomming quacks.....
Actually a doc's life is not that bad lah.
Hey considering I spend most of my time at work surfing the net and writing comments and entries at blogs, I am surprised I earn a 5 figure income!
That's probably peanuts to uglybaldie, but hey I'm happy with it.
What I find funny about being a doc is that treating different people in the same way and telling them the same facts gives different levels of satisfaction from each and every one of them. In some cases the patients want to hear lies and they would be happier!
So it's a case of either sticking to your guns and risking having unhappy patients, or being able to read people better and lie or tell the truth accordingly.
I don't think dogs do that do they? They are pretty honest most of the time.
If anything I'd say a doc's life is a cat's life *wink*
Dear flatfeet,
I was not venting any frustrations.
Just teaching people how they can drive their doctors nuts that's all.
Don't you think they are excellent ways to do so?
hee hee!
Dear Dr Oz
It's funny and cute. Couldn't stop laughing.
One day, if feeling bored and mischievous would try 1) on my doc and what's his reaction like. hahaha....
Uncle Oz, if you are able to earn 5 digit pay,enter blog entries, write comments, surf net back in Sg, what da hell you wanna leave for oz?
Hmm hmm...
"Uncle Oz, if you are able to earn 5 digit pay,enter blog entries, write comments, surf net back in Sg, what da hell you wanna leave for oz?
Hmm hmm..."
Very good question. And I get it all the time. In truth there is no perfect answer to this.
Well a few reasons :
1) I think my kids will enjoy their childhood in Australia much more than in Singapore (of course some would say the education system there is far worse than Singapore but I think kids should have more experiences in life besides books)
2) For my personal growth as a doctor going to Oz would be good for me. For one if I do go, I'll try for the FRACGP. It would be good for me even if I chose to return to Singapore. I also want to experience for myself what practising medicine is like in western countries. I've seen a few foreigners and have been impressed with their reception to my approach of consultation. I may find that Oz's problems may be too much for me, but when I return to Singapore I would only be richer in my experience. So there will be personal growth for me.
3) From my calculations and after talking to SG doctors who have gone to Oz to work, they tell me that you can earn close to 6-7K a month AFTER tax. And based on my calculations for expenses, that's well within comfort levels. Costs of things like cars and houses are much cheaper compared to SG. So you have to take that into consideration too. Health care benefits are extended to PRs and citizens unlike SG.
4) Life is too short to regret never having tried new things when the opportunities arose.
At the end of the day. Can anyone expect to live a life without making mistakes and say they have lived life to the fullest? I don't think so. We try things and sometimes it works, sometimes it does not. I might realise that it was a mistake to go to Oz (if I do go, but I want to) or I might realize it was a mistake to stay in SG. You never know. But we all learn from our mistakes and adapt accordingly.
So if I can't go to Oz, then it's back to the old "don't antagonize the patients" approach in Singapore :)
Ah OZ, thanks for the contribution to your answer.
I agree with you. Life's too short not to take chances like this (eg, relocating).
I always think that I'll do whatever I can to enrich my life and personal growth sake plus the point that I'm not committed into any relationship, thus, that certainly makes things alot easier.
Nonetheless, who knows I may get married in later life and then I can start telling personal experiences to my children /grandchildren (yes I know that I am thinking too far ahead).
But if you ever decide to go ahead with the move even for just a few years, I would still think it's worth the while then.
I reckon you wouldn't wanna move till you are 70 unless you are as 'sturdy' as unclebaldie. LOL
On the more serious note, do you think singapore health system do look into overseas experiences? Is that an added bonous to the CV?
What say you?
... sorry, have been curious but dunno who to ask such Qns... (didn't want to make the Dr feel insulted).. since you so idle, would you like to entertain these Qns?
Qns:
If patient A goes to clinic and Dr. X attended to him, but A not satisfied with Dr X's diagnosis.
Can A request to have Dr Y in the next consultation room? Will Dr X feel insulted?
Do most Drs scan thru the patient's medical history on the card before the patient enters the consult room? ... It doesn't give the patient assurance on the competence of the Dr when he doesn't bother to scan thru' the medical history, and then start flipping the records trying to read the notes from previous Dr.
How can a patient give constructive feedback to the Dr, without resorting to complaint letter? Eg: young newbie Dr, gets nervous when knowledgeable patient asks cheem questions... <-- how to feedback and give him some tips on how he should have handled such difficult situations?
"If patient A goes to clinic and Dr. X attended to him, but A not satisfied with Dr X's diagnosis.
Can A request to have Dr Y in the next consultation room? Will Dr X feel insulted?"
You can of course request for that.
Well put yourself in Dr X's shoes. Would you be offended?
Sure. But to what extent varies from doctor to doctor.
You probably already knew the answer to that questions/s. If you are looking for a doctor that would say with all honesty and a big nice hearty smile, "You want to see Dr Y for a second opinion because you're not satisfied with me? Sure I'd be most happy to arrange that for you now", then I think either Dr X is crazy, is a cold hearted snake with no feelings, or is totally disillusioned to the point he is numb. In either case, don't ever see doctor X again.
Would you want to see a doctor who did not have any pride in his work?
"Do most Drs scan thru the patient's medical history on the card before the patient enters the consult room? ... It doesn't give the patient assurance on the competence of the Dr when he doesn't bother to scan thru' the medical history, and then start flipping the records trying to read the notes from previous Dr."
Good point. Well the answer is usually no. Especially so in hospitals and polyclinics. And also in most GP clinics. The main reason being doctor's would like to get the patient into the room ASAP to reduce the time they spend in the waiting room. Next time. just observe how long after the patient before you left the room did the doctor call you next?
But it's a good point. It would be ideal for the doctor attending to you to already have a solid idea of your past history. I guess it would be simple if you are young with few problems (history notes is short), or are a regular patient that the doctor is familiar with (your history is all in his personal memory bank already), but for patients who are old with long past histories and multiple medical problems, it is rather unlikely a doctor who is seeing him/her for the first time will have the luxury of time to go through the entire case before calling the patient.
I used to do that as a young doctor in the hospitals. I got complaints from patients that I was taking a long time in calling for them between patients. (They were wondering what I was doing). My consultant told me to call them in first, then at least they won't kpkb abou waiting.
A simple solution to your problem is to stick to one doctor and have him be your family doctor. Be familiar with him, so that he becomes familiar with you. Makes for much easier communication overall. In Australia it's very very hard to doctor hop. Most clinics aren't even taking on new patients anymore because they have too many on their books.
Singaporeans don't understand it when they hear foreigners say "It's so hard to find a doctor to even see you". But there are reasons why doctors do that overseas. Who wants to be swamped with patients and be unable to remember them? And yet have to see them fast? And at the same time be thoroughly competent making no mistakes?
Give and take. In Singapore you can see any doctor (new clinics of course have no records of you). Waiting time is short (in Sweden the waiting time is tomorrow, a writer wrote to the ST forum about this) and it is relatively cheap. Yes CHEAP. Go check how much it is to see a doctor in other first world countries.
"How can a patient give constructive feedback to the Dr, without resorting to complaint letter? Eg: young newbie Dr, gets nervous when knowledgeable patient asks cheem questions... <-- how to feedback and give him some tips on how he should have handled such difficult situations?"
Well what kind of tips are you talking about? I mean if you know the answer to the cheem questions, then why ask? Maybe you just wanted to test the doctor?
Well if the doctor does not know the answer to your questions, you can tell from his half baked attempts to answer isn't it.
Frankly I'd like to know what tips you are thinking of offering.
But I would say, be understanding, this is a newbie doctor, fresh out of med school. Many questions that patients ask can be rather strange and the answers never found in the medical textbooks. This young doctor should get better with time.
I would be more concerned if you saw an experienced looking doctor and asked him the same "cheem" questions and he was also fumbling with an answer. Don't you think.
What kind of tips do you have anyway? Very curious to know.
Personally the tips I would have for the young doctor are probably not what laymen would know. Things like "listen attentively more than speaking", "making eye contact", "speaking slowly and clearly" etc are general tips for communication but I don't see how they can help a young doctor answer a cheem question he does no know the answer to.
So I'd like to know what your tips would be.
"On the more serious note, do you think singapore health system do look into overseas experiences? Is that an added bonous to the CV?
What say you? "
Dear flatfeet,
Well I don't really know the exact answer to that question.
Generally speaking the public sector does vale overseas experience. Especially for specialists. Which is why they send trainees abroad for part of their advanced training.
For GPs I don't think the polyclinics care about that. They just want to hire the lowest paid doctor who can work the longest hours and they'd be happy.
As for the private sector, I think they are more concerned with whether you have abilities that will help them to earn more money period.
" simple solution to your problem is to stick to one doctor and have him be your family doctor"
I'll second that.
But where to find good doctors nowadays?
Committed and knowledgeable and be abreast of medical developments? Tough.
Best is to be in the know yourself. And get the quack to concur with your diagnosis and dispense the medication, at a cheap rate of course. If you just won 4d and wants better stuff, tell him you want branded meds not some made in third world banana republics.
To OZ,
Whilst sitting on my throne this morning, I was thinking.
You said you draw a five figure salary. Let's say 15K. Add another 2K for CPF and other benefits and that adds up to 17K just for the clinic to employ you, not counting other overheads. We understand your boss is a very charitable person and does'nt overcharge. Let's say he charges $15 per consultation and makes another $10 from medication. So there is an income per patient of about $25. Assuming you see only 30 patients a day tops since you appear so free and there are 20 working days, it works out to a total revenue from you of about 15K. So by employing you, your boss made a loss of 2K every month or 24K per annum. Wow, what a whizz businessman! Can nominate him for entrepreneur of the Year.
Hee Hee.
Ahh....
You've found me out! I run my clinic out of a McDonald's outlet. Rent is free, utilities are free. The Mac's staff double as my clinic assistants. So the only effective overhead is me and the drugs. *wink*
But seriously.....
Your line of thought is what most clinic owners have. That's the way most clinics are run. Calculate how many patients seen a day, average of how much charged per patient, work out the overheads, staff salaries and see how much profit you make. Well that's the typical business model of a typical GP clinic in Singapore. And you of all people should know very well how "typical GP clinics" are in Singapore. :)
Well let me stimulate your brain cells a bit. Is there anyway to run a profitable clinic which has good doctors besides making them see as many patients an hour as possible?
Mind you if you make the doctor see too many patients an hour it also means you end up having half baked consults for your customers.
Think out of the box. Not all doctors are stupid you know *wink*
Anyway who cares about this entrepreneur of the year award crap.
The past winners have proven to be undeserved.
Better to have a biz that has been highly profitable and running for over 20 years than some crappy award :)
Q1: reason asking... Dr X got attitude problem or is sloppy in his mgt thru'out the consult process; was unable to clear my doubts... then i can request to see Dr Y.
Don't mind if clinic charge me for both consults; at least i will be satisfied and convinced if both drs give consistent diagnosis.
Q2: don't have to read entire history, at least do a quick scan on the recent visits. At least impress patient especially if today's visit is linked to the last 3 visits.
The worst ones are those who didn't even notice the red sticker... until when he's writing the prescription slip and patient has to kindly inform the dr the allergy to certain medication.
Q3: for the newbie dr, in additon to your tips,... simple "CONTINUE-STOP-START" tips like be more conscious of his own body language... keeping calm, and not giving any hint of his nervousness/anxiety. Gotta keep calm, while finding opportunity to check with the snr dr next door?
Also, try not to show the "Blank look" if you have never heard of the drug A before. I don't mind you reaching for your reference book to check, but no need to regurgitate your textbook knowledge on drug B, which u gonna prescribe only to have me highlight that i'm allergic to drug B. This is a dead giveaway the newbie dr's lack of experience.
The patient will get also get very nervous when he sees the dr like dat... "oh shit, he's not sure what medicine to prescribe"... and then i still hafta give him face, cannot go to the other dr in the next consult room... *bleah*
Doesn't sound logical to me when i hafta pay to be a guinea pig for the newbie, when i can get my doubts cleared by the dr next door.
If the newbie dr, is not receiving feedback early in his practice career... on how to deal with patients...(1) he'll develop some 'bad habits'... and then ends up being labeled as "lack of EQ"... i mean he may think he's doing ok without realizing that in actual fact it's not adding to his credibility. (2) even if he makes effort to continuously improve, it takes him double the effort, if no one gives him constructive feedback... The boss' feedback during the annual appraisal exercise based on bitchy, one-sided complaint letters doesn't do justice.
I'm a very reasonable patient, albeit an inquisitive one. :)
"cheem Qn": not exactly that cheem lah... more like bimbotic Qns. :P
Eg: may i know what's the link between mycoplasma pneumonia; asthmatic cough; and telogen effluvium? <-- like that "cheem" or not?
"stick with 1 dr": good idea meh? what happens if my dr decides to migrate to australia? :)
Well if you feel the young doctor needs your advice then give it to him.
How the young doctor reacts will also give you an idea of his personality and his ego. If he takes your advice graciously and humbly, I'm sure that would score points with you too.
If he doesn't, then don't see him again.
All experienced doctors started out as newbies young doctors. And unfortunately, very very unfortunately, young doctors still need to go to NTUC to buy groceries, pay the utility bills and thus need a salary.
Cheers!
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